Thoughts On #MeToo
*See this post in video format here.
Quickly, before I talk about my opinion on #MeToo, I'd like to give you a brief history on how this movement came about.
Created in 2006, by Tarana Burke, the campaign, Me Too is a nonprofit organization to help victims of sexual harassment and assault. Actress Alyssa Milano brought the hashtag #MeToo to attention in October of last year, “seeking to give a voice to sexual abuse victims, after accusations of sexual harassment and assault were leveled against the Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein.” (New York Times). Since then, countless women have come forward, sharing their stories of sexual harassment and assault. #MeToo became a way for social media users to tell their experiences and stand in solidarity with others who have been victims of sexual harassment and assault.
Now let's define words – because I think words and their meanings matter.
Sexual harassment:
“Unwelcome sexual advances made by an employer or superior, especially when compliance is made a condition of continued employment or advancement.” -dict.
A good example this would be the Five Women episode from This American Life.
Sexual assault:
“An act in which a person sexually touches another person without their consent, or coerces or physically forces a person to engage in a sexual act against their will.” -wiki.
Rape:
“Unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration... with or without force, by a sex organ, other body part, or foreign object without the consent of the victim.” -dict.
Example of sexual assault and rape: see my videos where I talk about being sexually abused as a child.
Women have been objectified for a long time in our culture but I think the real problemis that when a woman is dressed sexy, people assume she's asking for it – that doesn't mean consent. Women should be allowed to wear whatever they want. As well as men.
I think we have seen improvement when it comes to women being objectified. When you're watching old films or television shows, you might get this ick feeling from seeing where we were and how far we've come along. I love that women are speaking up and I encourage you to do that if you are going through something like this, that shouldn't be happening.
My story with #MeToo you might have already heard from previous videos, where I talk about being molested and raped from the ages of 4 or 5 to around 10 years old.
This movement is not exclusive to women. Men are objectified too.
Usually, when a women is shown with hardly any clothing on in media, it's looked at as sexy, it's a turn on. Most times when men are shown naked or with hardly any clothing, it's for a comedic effect, but not always.
I've also heard men speak about being harassed or grabbed and then hearing them say they feel their experience shouldn't even be brought up. This goes both ways. I think it has been far worse for women, but men have had things happen too.
We have to talk about this honestly. Not all sexual harassment is assault, not all assault is rape.
For example, Matt Damon made these comments on #MeToo, and got attacked for it. What did he say that wasn't accurate? I agree with Matt Damon and think he shouldn't have felt that he needed to apologize for what he said, because what he said is true.
When people lump Aziz Ansari with Harvey Weinstein - that's dishonest. If you're unable to look at the differences between those two, and admit they are clearly, very different, do you really care about this topic? I'm confused how anyone could look at these two situations and think they're the same anddeserve the same amount of punishment. Harvey, a sexual predator... I'm not defending Aziz. Clearly, one is more extreme than the other.
People shouldn't be silenced for speaking about this. Or any matter they wish to talk about. Just because you disagree with someone, whether they're protesting, or speaking up about a social issue, are you suggesting that they have their right of free speech taken away from them? Do you understand how dangerous that is? *See 'Why It's Worth Listening to People You Disagree With' TedTalk from Zachary R. Wood.
I'm a woman with experience of sexual abuse, but even if I were a man, a man who hasn't had any experience with sexual harassment or assault, I should be able to talk about this too. When you silence others or say they don't have the right to talk about something, that's not helpful in the slightest. I understand the frustration, anger and being upset, but if your response to someone is “you're a man and you shouldn't even be talking about this, just shut up” that closes the conversation - we need to be able to talk to each other. Turn your anger, your offense into words and use them to have a conversation with that person so he can understand better. Be articulate with your experiences and what you're feeling. If we want to progress, we have to be honest and specific about our words. If we want to progress, everyone has the right to speak. But it's important that we talk about it honestly because otherwise, it could turn people away from the movement.
What are your thoughts?
-Sarah
