How To Speak in Tongues Tutorial
*Click here to see this post in video format ;)
What is speaking in tongues?
Speaking in tongues is defined as “a form of glossolalia in which a person experiencing religious ecstasy utters incomprehensible sounds that the speaker believes are a language spoken through him or her by a deity.” - Oxford American Dictionary
Glossolalia: “Incomprehensible speech in an imaginary language, sometimes occurring in an trance state, an episode of religious ecstasy, or schizophrenia.”
-Oxford American Dictionary.
According to Teoti.com:
“Glossolalia is fabricated, meaningless speech... When spoken by schizophrenics, glossolalia is recognized as gibberish. In charismatic Christian communities glossolalia is sacred and referred to as "speaking in tongues" or having "the gift of tongues." In Acts of the Apostles, tongues of fire are described as alighting on the Apostles, filling them with the Holy Spirit. Allegedly, this allowed the Apostles to speak in their own language but be understood by foreigners from several nations... Uttering gibberish that is interpreted as profound mystical insight by holy men is an ancient practice. In Greece, even the priest of Apollo, god of light, engaged in prophetic babbling. The ancient Israelites did it. So did the Jansenists, the Quakers, the Methodists, and the Shakers.”
To summarize, Speaking in tongues is a made up language that has zero meaning.
a.k.a. complete bullshit.
Side note: If you or someone you know is claiming they genuinely hear voices, or that some other being is speaking through them, that could be a sign of mental illness that should be taken seriously.
Now... what does speaking in tongues sound like? Anyone who ever speaks in tongues sounds a little different from the next person who does it. So, no one can tell you you're doing it wrong because there's no right way to do it.
To me, it sounds like a mix of Parseltongue from Harry Potter combined with trilling the tongue.
Here's just a few examples: (see more in video here)
Why am I even talking about this? And why, after explaining that I think its total BS, would I make a tutorial on how to do it? Well....I remember what it was like, growing up in church and being the one who couldn't speak in tongues yet, like my friends. I was guilted and shamed for not being able to do it!
I should mention, good on you for not being able to speak in tongues because, again, it's complete BS. Its normal if you feel a little weird about all of this. It makes perfect sense that just 'opening your mouth and letting the Holy Spirit speak through you' seems like lunacy – because it is.
That being said, if you're in a situation where the people around you are speaking in tongues and expect you to, but you're not at a point where its safe and you don't feel comfortable enough to tell them that you think it's bullshit, I might be able to help. If you're a kid who is being forced to go to church, being shamed by church-goers or pressured by your family to speak in tongues - I got you.
And now the big reveal...
All you do is try to mimic what the people around you are doing - that's it.
There's a lot of 'shuns', 'da-da-da's', and bonus points if you can trill your tongue because now you really look like you're on fire for Jesus.
*show example of speaking in tongues - nonsense.
Obviously (thankfully) I'm out of practice. And remember, speaking in tongues is literally speaking gibberish and there's no right or wrong way to do it.
I also remember in church, when someone would speak in tongues then a few minutes later, another person would interpret the language, saying that they heard from god and that god was speaking through them - uh huh
If you are currently being indoctrinated and your family forces you to go to church and this is what you are experiencing, I wish you nothing but the best and I hope you get out of that situation soon. I hope you find this tutorial helpful if you're being forced to do it and you're an unwilling participant.
Speaking in tongues isn't anything but madness, coercion, and shaming people into doing it. I really feel like people who speak in tongues know deep down that what they are doing is a fraud, but assume they are the only ones who feel that way. Think, the emperors new clothes. In that sense, its just a way of pledging your allegiance to the church, virtue signaling to others in your group that you share their tribal values. But, when your religion asks you to embarrass yourself and lie about it, maybe it's time to re-think your religion. Or religion period.
-Sarah
