Stress and the Holidays | How To Make It Better
This time of the year can be challenging for several reasons - between traveling, seeing family (or not seeing family), remembering loved ones ones who are no longer with us, finances, work piling up before taking a holiday break - I wanted to make a blog post (and podcast episode - YAY) all about how to handle holiday stress and make it better.
1. Give Yourself Some Time + Space
I've seen that quote on Pinterest, Instagram, basically everywhere on the internet. You know, the one that goes, "Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes. Including you," from Anne Lamott. Everyone needs a break or vacation and the holidays can make it hard to feel like it's an actual break... or vacation... LOL but I hope you can find a little time for yourself to unwind from work. Also, I highly recommend meditating - it's just something that's really worked for me and you might enjoy it too. I like doing guided meditations with Calm and Headspace.
2. Stick to Your Favorite Activities in the Day
Those little things you like to do for yourself might relieve some tension. I'm thinking of those small self care things you might look forward to and also might overlook; having coffee/tea, reading the paper or a new book, eating healthy, keeping up with your exercise routine. Having a little "me" time does wonders on your mind, body, etc. all the important things =)
3. Express Yourself + Communicate
If you find yourself getting overwhelmed with holiday planning and just whatever is going on in your life this time of year, talk to a friend, family member or therapist and let them know. Letting someone know how you're feeling could help find a way to make it better. Also, just talking about it seems to help - that pressure that builds up inside breaks down and you might see things differently by opening up. If you've planned to visit everyone under the sun for the holidays you might need to re-consider and cancel. If you're feeling low, tell someone. Plans can change and you don't have to feel bad or guilty about that.
I don't think people should ever feel guilty about doing what's best for them. Take care of yourself.
4. Say "NO"
This word is golden and kinda goes with what I just mentioned in the #3. This can also mean boundaries - with others and boundaries for yourself. With others, I think it's important to notice how you're feeling around them, or how you've felt around them in the past. Listen to that and stick to limiting how much time you're going to spend with certain people.
Mentioning this on my blog probably might come off as snooty or snobbish, but when you know what's best for you, it's easier to manage the holidays.
Here's a very personal example I'll share from my life:
I grew up being molested by a family member for years growing up. When I finally told my family about it, my mom, dad and brother were supportive/helpful but the rest of the family was not. At all.
My uncles, aunts, cousins basically told me to shut up about it and I was excluded from family get-togethers. They wanted me to sweep it under the rug and either 1) hang out with all family members for holidays, etc. or 2) not see any of them anymore.
Needless to say, I don't spend time with them anymore. This is a tragic example but you know when it's best to not be around certain people for the holidays and this includes family... I think the term I've seen trending is "toxic" and it really is.
I'm better off not being around my family (uncles, cousins, aunts) because of those bad memories and experiences. And this is just my family. Not everyone's family is the same of course and I love seeing my brother and his wife, my mom and Kyle's family for the holidays. It's better and I can make new, great memories with them.
If you find yourself being around people you feel in your gut it's not worth it, don't. If it's unavoidable for some reason, cut your time short. Say you need to leave at a certain time to meet up with so and so or just leave. You're also not required to give out reasons to go.. just an idea ;)
Also, boundaries with yourself. From my own life, cutting out alcohol has been the best thing for me. I know the holidays seem like a great time to drink and have fun but overdoing anything ends up being a bad idea, whether it's food, alcohol, etc. Knowing your limits before going into the holiday season might really help.
There are also plenty of nice, warm and cozy parts of the holidays to enjoy. I don't mean to make the holidays seem like a scary, dark, sinister cave you'll never escape. There are moments to look forward to and enjoy, so have fun.
If you find yourself not having fun (hehehe) remember this: the holidays will be over soon.
I hope you guys found this post helpful! I'm also talking about this topic of on my podcast today so go subscribe so you don't miss it!
XOXO
-SARAH
